Thoughts on Motherhood

 On Monday, I  had the privilege to be the guest speaker in my friend's eight grade class. The topic of my talk was victim/offender mediation, which is a topic for another blog post. What prompted my thoughts today were the words that my friend of twenty years introduced me to her class with. She said, " Class meet my friend, Kathleen. When I young and single , Kathleen was the first mother I saw have fun with her children. When married and had children, she became my Mom mentor." Her words made me smile with humble pride and I reminisced about my early years in Motherhood. Truth be told, as a mother, I had no idea what I was doing. I had little to go on. I remember holding Gunnar in the hospital and saying out loud, "What do I do now?" Life did not go smoothly. I was terrified, I mean really who thought it was a good idea to put me in charge of a baby, another human life? There is a well known saying, "The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world." If that adage is accurate, those are some big shoes to fill. I did not want to rock the world, as an overwhelmed  scared twenty-six year old sleep deprived new mom, all I wanted at the time was a nap! Slowly I got my "mom rhythm" and this is what I did---I hand another baby. My two son's were unique. They came from the same gene pool, but sometimes I wondered. Gunnar was the most kinetic, rather high strung child I ever saw and Hayden was as mellow easy going as they come. As a mom, I had a conviction that part of my "job" was to know my children as individuals and nurture them, not change them. In the daily routine of diapers, feedings and laundry. I learned to appreciate Gunnar and Hayden. At this point, I feel like I am bragging. Keep in mind how afraid I was---What if I messed up?--what if I stunk at being a mom?---too late now! What  I remember from the early days of motherhood are feelings of intimidation. I did not have all the answers and not much of a plan. What I could do is "learn" my sons and play with them.  each day in the mist of the mess, the three of us played and laughed and discovered the joys of just being together. Thanks Julie, for letting me speak to your class and for reminding me of how fun motherhood can be.